This is a fucking travesty

How? HOW!? How in the nine hells could this have transpired? Just when I think there is a well deserved and overdue balance coming to the world and Krampus can actually rest, something that boggles my mind occurs. What, you ask? Is it that played out narcissist Kanye West? Of course not! Is it some other outrage involving a friend of mine? Oh, most definitely. Circumstances that one might consider, if not knowledge for the reasons, to be unforgivable. I however feel a greater need to show mercy and to decree, no...DEMAND to call this to light and to rectify this tragedy!

Someone I know who enjoys rock and metal has never heard of Dethklok.

Bloody fuck! This is a travesty that MUST be rectified! And for those of you not in the know, Cartoon Network's Adult Swim has a show called Metalocalypse, a 15 minute show that revolves around Dethklok, and death metal band that through their actions, stupidity, productions and perhaps fate, may be the heralds of a doomed future. Observed by clergy and military advisors, the show is insane, but in a fun, bloody and satisfyingly visceral way. And the music is genuinely rocking! The songs may be short, but the true geniuses of the show have some great talent, like Mark Hamill as a voice of more than one character. Alas, my friend is currently lacking in both cable and satellite television. Shocking, and perhaps one can sustain themselves without it. But once this show is experienced, I dare say it may become addictive to those not turned off by gratuitous gore, absurdity of stardom and extreme death metal that most require a lyric sheet to properly sing along with. Note to self: do NOT sing at the top of one's lungs to psyche up before going on a broadcast. You simply must trust me on this unless you are a metal performer.

From the theme song's opening to the Fansong calling their fans brainless mutants at the kindest statement, to the absurd yet infectious like Murmaider, a song telling about murder under the sea to Awaken, an homage to summoning a demonic beast with the power of music, with departures like Detharmonic, a rock meets classical twist and Better Metal Snake, a tale of warring tribes and mythic creatures, there are ourtageous, larger than life references, also to be appreciated are Birthday Dethday and one of my favorites, Bloodrocuted. In the humble opinion of Krampus, is something that should be shared, enjoyed for what it is, and spread throughout like a musical infection of heavy metal mercury. And Dethklok is coming on tour with metal group Mastodon!





One must search and explore this on YouTube or on Google to appreciate them if not buying the DVD, downloading them on Netflix or the Apple store. If you like rock, metal, a good laugh and something for a finite attention span that will make you crave more, the music of Dethklok is a must-listen and must-see.

Here are the lyrics of one of my favorites, Bloodrocuted.



You've been targeted in the night
By violent mercenaries.
Your identity's been confused
With one that looks like you
You're a simple man living life.
You are an electrician.
But there's a bounty on your head
A billion unmarked travelers checks.

RUN

Find your way deep into the woods.
The dogs can smell your path.
Try to find a way out of this.
There seems to be no chance.
Bounty hunters closer to you.
Start to remember back.
When you studied biology
Back in your high school class.

Wait now, what did they say
About the human body and proportions of things?
Blood is an energy conductor.
I am full of that all I need is an outlet.

They're getting closer
But now you have a plan.
Lead them to the generator
Where there's solid land.
The concrete floor will do just fine
And electric outlets.
Open up your veins and splash the blood
And hit the power lines.

Bloodrocuted
Bloodrocuted

You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted right now

You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted right now


Enemies stand dead in your blood.
The stench of cooking skin.
All of them with their hair on end
Their eyes exploded in.
You stand with your arms bleeding still
You cannot stop the flow.
Though you are the victor tonight
Your time has come to go.

Go go go go go go
Your time has come to go
Go go go go go go
Your time has come to go

Wait now, what did they say
About the human body and proportions of things?
Blood is an energy conductor.
I am full of that all I need is an outlet.

Bloodrocuted!