How? HOW!? How in the nine hells could this have transpired? Just when I think there is a well deserved and overdue balance coming to the world and Krampus can actually rest, something that boggles my mind occurs. What, you ask? Is it that played out narcissist Kanye West? Of course not! Is it some other outrage involving a friend of mine? Oh, most definitely. Circumstances that one might consider, if not knowledge for the reasons, to be unforgivable. I however feel a greater need to show mercy and to decree, no...DEMAND to call this to light and to rectify this tragedy!
Someone I know who enjoys rock and metal has never heard of Dethklok.
Bloody fuck! This is a travesty that MUST be rectified! And for those of you not in the know, Cartoon Network's Adult Swim has a show called Metalocalypse, a 15 minute show that revolves around Dethklok, and death metal band that through their actions, stupidity, productions and perhaps fate, may be the heralds of a doomed future. Observed by clergy and military advisors, the show is insane, but in a fun, bloody and satisfyingly visceral way. And the music is genuinely rocking! The songs may be short, but the true geniuses of the show have some great talent, like Mark Hamill as a voice of more than one character. Alas, my friend is currently lacking in both cable and satellite television. Shocking, and perhaps one can sustain themselves without it. But once this show is experienced, I dare say it may become addictive to those not turned off by gratuitous gore, absurdity of stardom and extreme death metal that most require a lyric sheet to properly sing along with. Note to self: do NOT sing at the top of one's lungs to psyche up before going on a broadcast. You simply must trust me on this unless you are a metal performer.
From the theme song's opening to the Fansong calling their fans brainless mutants at the kindest statement, to the absurd yet infectious like Murmaider, a song telling about murder under the sea to Awaken, an homage to summoning a demonic beast with the power of music, with departures like Detharmonic, a rock meets classical twist and Better Metal Snake, a tale of warring tribes and mythic creatures, there are ourtageous, larger than life references, also to be appreciated are Birthday Dethday and one of my favorites, Bloodrocuted. In the humble opinion of Krampus, is something that should be shared, enjoyed for what it is, and spread throughout like a musical infection of heavy metal mercury. And Dethklok is coming on tour with metal group Mastodon!
One must search and explore this on YouTube or on Google to appreciate them if not buying the DVD, downloading them on Netflix or the Apple store. If you like rock, metal, a good laugh and something for a finite attention span that will make you crave more, the music of Dethklok is a must-listen and must-see.
Here are the lyrics of one of my favorites, Bloodrocuted.
You've been targeted in the night
By violent mercenaries.
Your identity's been confused
With one that looks like you
You're a simple man living life.
You are an electrician.
But there's a bounty on your head
A billion unmarked travelers checks.
RUN
Find your way deep into the woods.
The dogs can smell your path.
Try to find a way out of this.
There seems to be no chance.
Bounty hunters closer to you.
Start to remember back.
When you studied biology
Back in your high school class.
Wait now, what did they say
About the human body and proportions of things?
Blood is an energy conductor.
I am full of that all I need is an outlet.
They're getting closer
But now you have a plan.
Lead them to the generator
Where there's solid land.
The concrete floor will do just fine
And electric outlets.
Open up your veins and splash the blood
And hit the power lines.
Bloodrocuted
Bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted right now
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted
You'll be bloodrocuted right now
Enemies stand dead in your blood.
The stench of cooking skin.
All of them with their hair on end
Their eyes exploded in.
You stand with your arms bleeding still
You cannot stop the flow.
Though you are the victor tonight
Your time has come to go.
Go go go go go go
Your time has come to go
Go go go go go go
Your time has come to go
Wait now, what did they say
About the human body and proportions of things?
Blood is an energy conductor.
I am full of that all I need is an outlet.
Bloodrocuted!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Sorry you're not a federally charged cyber-stalker
I nearly lost a friend and someone with whom I have a great deal of respect on 9/11, so out of respect, I declined engaging in this rhetoric yesterday. But since the news has had its day of reliving the carnage and the remembrance done, now is the time to engage in the democratic response.
Oops.
Oh look kiddies, Krampus made a mistake! Oh, but wait...in the land of the invertebrates, you've made a mistake, you've made one, you...yep, you too...that one...mistake...mistake...mistake...hmm. Looks like a lot of that going around. But to say I attacked someone? Tch tch tch. SImply not true. Especially when I go through the trouble of actually trying to HELP someone by contacting the FBI and local constabulary about threats both about a friend, and someone whom in my opinion is an obnoxious, self-righteous, escalating in actions and potential violence, arrogant, self-editing so he doesn't believe he makes mistakes rules lawyer persona for RPG playing, human analog for an attempted irritant waste of a panty liner who threatened to destroy one of my friends, but doesn't deserve to die. What wondrous gratitude. Then again, I'm not sure I should expect anything more from someone who first challenged the leader of a group, only to have his head so far up the walking chimney's posterior as to taste his breakfast with a taint of hickory. Maybe that would explain the lack of flesh, it's jerky by now, but I could be mistaken.
So yes, I mentioned to the authorities that one individual I know but would NEVER be classified as a friend, was being threatened by someone else who looks familiar...it's that damned facial hair and structure, I've seen him somewhere before, not to mention boasting the training to be a killer...anyway, one individual threatened to kill another, and send the head to a friend of mine, involving them in a threat on someone's life. Now, despite the fact that I'd LOVE to hear the verbal diarrhea spewed from his cakehole silenced once and for all, I don't wish for my friend to be involved with someone's threat upon him. There was genuine danger, and it wouldn't be right to have this person's wife turned into a widow. So, once again, I did my civic duty and reported this threat to the authorities.
However, in my zeal, I made an oopsie. I made a post on my Myspace status that in taking this person's photo down, that I do not endorse federally charged cyber-stalkers. Or their accomplices. Now, that part is true, I don't endorse them. Worst kind of people, you know. But the mistake was, that particular person was NOT in fact charged with a federal statute of cyber-stalking. Nope, never arrested and charged with that. I mean, the mistake was honest enough to make. I mean, when you threaten to destroy someone, supposed joke or not, then the FBI looks into a threat against that individual, you'd think they'd look into that. So, I was wrong. For this, I retracted my statement, which yes, could be defamation of character. For this, I apologize. I'd be happy to call you by name to ensure how sincere I am, but somehow I don't think you'd like me saying that on an open forum, would you Smeagol? Nice artwork, by the way. But I'm no longer endorsing it, charges or not. John Wayne Gacy was a great artist too, but I'd hardly recommend his art be sold to benefit a clown college.
Alas, Krampus made a mistake, of which retraction and apology was issued. I see you're going on retirement, coming out long enough to state a defense. But now I've done the same as your benefactor, making a mistake and apologizing for it. So now at least Krampus is among the company of people you keep. And now in making a mistake, owning up for it and rectification, Krampus is now the perfect example to state that one should do more research and get the facts before posting. Especially if your primary business is rumor mongering. But you know, that's the risk when you hold up an inflammatory mirror, the reflection may appear distorted. Monstrous. False. Lies. But a threat? No.
This isn't a threat either. It's a promise. An oath.
If someone threatens my friends, I WILL defend them. And lately, people have been running their mouths, putting out enough rope to hang themselves. Sooner or later, you may trip up. Watch your necks, or your own actions will hang you. Not from me, though. I don't get off on autoerotic asphyxia. But I WILL ensure my friends are safeguarded. I don't suggest you threaten them again.
Oops.
Oh look kiddies, Krampus made a mistake! Oh, but wait...in the land of the invertebrates, you've made a mistake, you've made one, you...yep, you too...that one...mistake...mistake...mistake...hmm. Looks like a lot of that going around. But to say I attacked someone? Tch tch tch. SImply not true. Especially when I go through the trouble of actually trying to HELP someone by contacting the FBI and local constabulary about threats both about a friend, and someone whom in my opinion is an obnoxious, self-righteous, escalating in actions and potential violence, arrogant, self-editing so he doesn't believe he makes mistakes rules lawyer persona for RPG playing, human analog for an attempted irritant waste of a panty liner who threatened to destroy one of my friends, but doesn't deserve to die. What wondrous gratitude. Then again, I'm not sure I should expect anything more from someone who first challenged the leader of a group, only to have his head so far up the walking chimney's posterior as to taste his breakfast with a taint of hickory. Maybe that would explain the lack of flesh, it's jerky by now, but I could be mistaken.
So yes, I mentioned to the authorities that one individual I know but would NEVER be classified as a friend, was being threatened by someone else who looks familiar...it's that damned facial hair and structure, I've seen him somewhere before, not to mention boasting the training to be a killer...anyway, one individual threatened to kill another, and send the head to a friend of mine, involving them in a threat on someone's life. Now, despite the fact that I'd LOVE to hear the verbal diarrhea spewed from his cakehole silenced once and for all, I don't wish for my friend to be involved with someone's threat upon him. There was genuine danger, and it wouldn't be right to have this person's wife turned into a widow. So, once again, I did my civic duty and reported this threat to the authorities.
However, in my zeal, I made an oopsie. I made a post on my Myspace status that in taking this person's photo down, that I do not endorse federally charged cyber-stalkers. Or their accomplices. Now, that part is true, I don't endorse them. Worst kind of people, you know. But the mistake was, that particular person was NOT in fact charged with a federal statute of cyber-stalking. Nope, never arrested and charged with that. I mean, the mistake was honest enough to make. I mean, when you threaten to destroy someone, supposed joke or not, then the FBI looks into a threat against that individual, you'd think they'd look into that. So, I was wrong. For this, I retracted my statement, which yes, could be defamation of character. For this, I apologize. I'd be happy to call you by name to ensure how sincere I am, but somehow I don't think you'd like me saying that on an open forum, would you Smeagol? Nice artwork, by the way. But I'm no longer endorsing it, charges or not. John Wayne Gacy was a great artist too, but I'd hardly recommend his art be sold to benefit a clown college.
Alas, Krampus made a mistake, of which retraction and apology was issued. I see you're going on retirement, coming out long enough to state a defense. But now I've done the same as your benefactor, making a mistake and apologizing for it. So now at least Krampus is among the company of people you keep. And now in making a mistake, owning up for it and rectification, Krampus is now the perfect example to state that one should do more research and get the facts before posting. Especially if your primary business is rumor mongering. But you know, that's the risk when you hold up an inflammatory mirror, the reflection may appear distorted. Monstrous. False. Lies. But a threat? No.
This isn't a threat either. It's a promise. An oath.
If someone threatens my friends, I WILL defend them. And lately, people have been running their mouths, putting out enough rope to hang themselves. Sooner or later, you may trip up. Watch your necks, or your own actions will hang you. Not from me, though. I don't get off on autoerotic asphyxia. But I WILL ensure my friends are safeguarded. I don't suggest you threaten them again.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Real Life Anti-Heroes/Everybody Loves Krampus
Greetings and salutations readers!
My my my, a lot can happen in the space of a week and two broadcasts. I was pleased to be the last minute co-host on Creature Feature last night, no offense to Tiny Terror that had prior engagements. The discussions were fun and informative, and despite a miscommunication on behalf of Tothian on what he meant when he asked for a phone booth impression, things went rather well.
Among the points I was able to put forth to the RLSH and RLSV community was the contention between the actions of certain members. For those of you that were unable to listen to the show, it seems to me that there is a growing schism between members of the RLSH community doing real good and uplifting people such as DC's Guardian, people aiding in charity work or community activists, acting as inspiration to those around them, and a growing number of people who are being reported as dressing in costume, taking to the streets and striking first, without proof of criminal activity or ganging up on people in suspicious ways. Now, I am NOT saying that ALL members of the RLSH are doing this, and in some cases, people reporting criminals to the police as concerned citizens is all well and good. The problem I seem to hear more and more is fear. Fear of whether or not the people engaging in these activities have a strong grounding in reality or the law, and fear of innocent people being pulled into their actions, whether by friendly fire or reprisals by people with full capability and intent to harm and kill, and fear that the actions of vigilante mavericks may harm the reputation and cast a damning light upon those doing genuinely good works within the space of legality.
Since the problem appears to be in the labeling and association, I make a proposal of definition to the Real Life Superhero community. George Carlin once said that we as human beings(I'll forgive the fact he wasn't including Krampus in the human analogy, you dead fuck) think in terms and concepts of language. And if you can manipulate or control language, you can control thought. As attractive as mind control may be, 'tis not my goal at this time, nor do I wish to micro-manage. What I wish to address is a simple change of language. To separate the actions of positive role models in the community and people abiding to the Real Life Superhero status of being uplifting as opposed to the shadowy actions of those that threaten to besmirch them by acting as vigilantes, then I propose that the community call them what they really are. Real Life Anti-Heroes, the RLAH! Or if you don't like the name, Real Life Vigilante Heroes, or drop the hero from the name altogether. When I talked of this on Creature Feature, the response, after a pause of silence, was actually quite resounding and accepting. From what has been gathered, there are many in the RLSH community that classify their own actions as that of anti-hero anyway, and would accept the distinction. So whether you wish to call them RLAH or RLV's, I offer this choice of language to better define those in the community, allowing each to be recognized, and to be made distinct from one another in the minds of both participants in the community and observers from outside the communities.
I have submitted a copy of the above to the RLSH website, let us see if the name of the new terminology will take root. 'Twould be nice if I were the origin of such a distinction that may help to alleviate future errors in definition. Ah, only time will tell. In the meantime, I am quite pleased with the recent turn of events. One week I'm stealing the show, the next I'm the co-host! This is delicious! And apparently with the exception of one, my term RLAH was accepted by virtually all calling in. Now I know that some simply wish to break shit, and perhaps RSV would be more appropriate. But come now! With initials like RLAH, it would be easy to call the perpetrators Real Life Assholes! It writes itself! It also tickles me in dark places that I've apparently garners the same level of rabid fans as Howard Stern! There appears to be one who hasn't called in, but LOVES to comment on Krampus every time I speak. This rabid cheerleader seems to have the same fervor as anti-Stern listeners who can't help but listen to see what will be said next, but refuses to call. Almost a shame this individual loves to listen, but can't summon the testicular fortitude to speak without a keyboard. Ah well, we can't all be eloquent when asked to speak publicly. Can we?
Or should I say...can you?
Auf Wiedersehen, and may your nightmares remind you how wonderful it feels to be alive,
Krampus
My my my, a lot can happen in the space of a week and two broadcasts. I was pleased to be the last minute co-host on Creature Feature last night, no offense to Tiny Terror that had prior engagements. The discussions were fun and informative, and despite a miscommunication on behalf of Tothian on what he meant when he asked for a phone booth impression, things went rather well.
Among the points I was able to put forth to the RLSH and RLSV community was the contention between the actions of certain members. For those of you that were unable to listen to the show, it seems to me that there is a growing schism between members of the RLSH community doing real good and uplifting people such as DC's Guardian, people aiding in charity work or community activists, acting as inspiration to those around them, and a growing number of people who are being reported as dressing in costume, taking to the streets and striking first, without proof of criminal activity or ganging up on people in suspicious ways. Now, I am NOT saying that ALL members of the RLSH are doing this, and in some cases, people reporting criminals to the police as concerned citizens is all well and good. The problem I seem to hear more and more is fear. Fear of whether or not the people engaging in these activities have a strong grounding in reality or the law, and fear of innocent people being pulled into their actions, whether by friendly fire or reprisals by people with full capability and intent to harm and kill, and fear that the actions of vigilante mavericks may harm the reputation and cast a damning light upon those doing genuinely good works within the space of legality.
Since the problem appears to be in the labeling and association, I make a proposal of definition to the Real Life Superhero community. George Carlin once said that we as human beings(I'll forgive the fact he wasn't including Krampus in the human analogy, you dead fuck) think in terms and concepts of language. And if you can manipulate or control language, you can control thought. As attractive as mind control may be, 'tis not my goal at this time, nor do I wish to micro-manage. What I wish to address is a simple change of language. To separate the actions of positive role models in the community and people abiding to the Real Life Superhero status of being uplifting as opposed to the shadowy actions of those that threaten to besmirch them by acting as vigilantes, then I propose that the community call them what they really are. Real Life Anti-Heroes, the RLAH! Or if you don't like the name, Real Life Vigilante Heroes, or drop the hero from the name altogether. When I talked of this on Creature Feature, the response, after a pause of silence, was actually quite resounding and accepting. From what has been gathered, there are many in the RLSH community that classify their own actions as that of anti-hero anyway, and would accept the distinction. So whether you wish to call them RLAH or RLV's, I offer this choice of language to better define those in the community, allowing each to be recognized, and to be made distinct from one another in the minds of both participants in the community and observers from outside the communities.
I have submitted a copy of the above to the RLSH website, let us see if the name of the new terminology will take root. 'Twould be nice if I were the origin of such a distinction that may help to alleviate future errors in definition. Ah, only time will tell. In the meantime, I am quite pleased with the recent turn of events. One week I'm stealing the show, the next I'm the co-host! This is delicious! And apparently with the exception of one, my term RLAH was accepted by virtually all calling in. Now I know that some simply wish to break shit, and perhaps RSV would be more appropriate. But come now! With initials like RLAH, it would be easy to call the perpetrators Real Life Assholes! It writes itself! It also tickles me in dark places that I've apparently garners the same level of rabid fans as Howard Stern! There appears to be one who hasn't called in, but LOVES to comment on Krampus every time I speak. This rabid cheerleader seems to have the same fervor as anti-Stern listeners who can't help but listen to see what will be said next, but refuses to call. Almost a shame this individual loves to listen, but can't summon the testicular fortitude to speak without a keyboard. Ah well, we can't all be eloquent when asked to speak publicly. Can we?
Or should I say...can you?
Auf Wiedersehen, and may your nightmares remind you how wonderful it feels to be alive,
Krampus
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