In the myriad of video games today, there is one recent game that has its moments of unadulterated grindhouse style entertainment. Shadows of the Damned follows demon hunter Garcia Hotspur as his girlfriend and love of his life Paula is kidnapped by Flemming, the ruler of the Underworld. Garcia dives in to rescue Paula and destroy Flemming and any demon that gets in his way. Along to help him is Johnson, his only friend and former resident of the Underworld who transforms into the various weapons used in the game. The pistol is referred to as Boner, as it uses demon bones as ammunition. Of course, you gain various upgrades throughout the game, one allows you to charge up an explosive shot and fire it at opponents, which is called the Hot Boner. But one of the more interesting and phallic levels is called The Big Boner, involving the Underworld's hottest sex club district. To destroy the giant demons there, Johnson gets a dose of Phone Sex from Hell, and temporarily transforms into the massive cannon called The Big Boner!
The game has moments of entertainment and somewhat challenging puzzle levels involving life-sucking darkness. It also features a soundtrack by legendary Silent Hill soundsmith Akira Yamaoka. All in all, it's not bad, despite an ending that leaves most fans limp. But here for you now is a part of the video walkthrough by Game Front featuring The Big Boner. Listen to how enthusiastic Garcia is when he shoots his crotch cannon into the face of demonic fucktards!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Judgment Day and diseased monkeys
It's quite interesting, hearing about the kinds of things so insane that they would make good dramas or made for TV movies. Take the goings on in Ohio this week.
Police Say All Escaped Exotic Animals Accounted for, Diseased Monkey Likely Eaten
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/19/exotic-animals-on-loose-in-ohio-after-park-owner-found-dead/#ixzz1bLfKKGX2
Authorities in Ohio said they successfully killed 49 of the 56 animals that were released from a wild-animal preserve, ranging from brown bears to Bengal tigers, before any reported injuries in the area.
A monkey believed to be infected with Herpes-B was the last holdout, but police say it could have been eaten by one of the other escaped animals.
"We're convinced that we do not have any animals running at large," the Sheriff's office told NBC4.
Sheriffs in Zanesville, Ohio, a mostly rural area about 55 miles east of Columbus, have been working with zoo officials and wildlife expert Jack Hanna and agreed on a shoot-to-kill order, considering the immediate danger presented to the community.
"If you had 18 Bengal tigers running around this area, you folks wouldn't want to see what would happen," Hanna said at a press conference.
The deceased animals include a wolf, six black bears, two grizzly bears, nine male lions, eight lionesses, a baboon, three mountain lions and 18 tigers, authorities said. They were buried at the location they were killed.
Authorities were able to transport six animals to the Columbus Zoo, a grizzly bear, three leopards and two monkeys.
The animals escaped from the Muskingum County Animal Farm in Zanesville after the owner threw their cages open and committed suicide, authorities said.
Mike Dodd with the Muskingum County Sheriff's Office told FoxNews.com that authorities are urging the public to "keep your eyes open."
Schools were also closed, parents were warned to keep children and pets indoors and flashing signs along highways told motorists, "Caution exotic animals" and "Stay in vehicle."
Neighbor Danielle White, whose father's property abuts the Muskingum County Animal Farm, said she didn't see loose animals this time but did in 2006, when a lion escaped.
"It's always been a fear of mine knowing (the owner) had all those animals," she said. "I have kids. I've heard a male lion roar all night."
The owner of the preserve, Terry Thompson, left the cages open and the fences unsecured, releasing dozens of animals, including lions, tigers, bears and wolves, before committing suicide, said Muskingum County Sheriff Matt Lutz. His body was discovered in the driveway.
Authorities would not say how he killed himself and no suicide note was found. Lutz wouldn't speculate on why he committed suicide. But Thompson had had repeated run-ins with the law, and Lutz said the sheriff's office had received numerous complaints since 2004 about animals at the property.
Authorities had difficulty entering the property because wild animals could be seen at its entrance, authorities said. The first responding officers used their handguns to help contain the animals.
"This is a bad situation," the sheriff said. "It's been a situation for a long time."
FoxNews.com's Cristina Corbin, the Associated Press and Newscore contributed to this report.
Seriously, who would have thought of someone going apeshit, killing himself after releasing dozens of exotic animals to run rampant. And now, Fox News believes that the last animal, a wild Herpes infected monkey, is no longer of concern? They believe the creature was killed without definitive proof, letting the damned thing run loose and be nothing but a plague carrier. Perhaps this helps to tie into something else Fox News believes in: religious zealotry. Namely, the failed prophecies that May meant that the dates were off, and now October 21 is the day when people will be judged and slain, their souls to suffer for all sins. But with an unaccounted for diseased monkey running around, is someone trying to write their own story?
Another thing I can't help but find humorous. Surely for most people, the false prophecies don't matter. But statistically speaking, people die every day. In some cases, ironic or dramatic deaths are aligned with the prophecies. Could you imagine how badly it must absolutely suck to die on a day when others have claimed it is the end of days, but knowing that everyone else will live? How embarrassing for you! Knowing that it's not the end of the world...just the end of yours.
Poor souls. Then again, why not go out with a little irony? It makes for more entertaining television that way.
Police Say All Escaped Exotic Animals Accounted for, Diseased Monkey Likely Eaten
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/19/exotic-animals-on-loose-in-ohio-after-park-owner-found-dead/#ixzz1bLfKKGX2
Authorities in Ohio said they successfully killed 49 of the 56 animals that were released from a wild-animal preserve, ranging from brown bears to Bengal tigers, before any reported injuries in the area.
A monkey believed to be infected with Herpes-B was the last holdout, but police say it could have been eaten by one of the other escaped animals.
"We're convinced that we do not have any animals running at large," the Sheriff's office told NBC4.
Sheriffs in Zanesville, Ohio, a mostly rural area about 55 miles east of Columbus, have been working with zoo officials and wildlife expert Jack Hanna and agreed on a shoot-to-kill order, considering the immediate danger presented to the community.
"If you had 18 Bengal tigers running around this area, you folks wouldn't want to see what would happen," Hanna said at a press conference.
The deceased animals include a wolf, six black bears, two grizzly bears, nine male lions, eight lionesses, a baboon, three mountain lions and 18 tigers, authorities said. They were buried at the location they were killed.
Authorities were able to transport six animals to the Columbus Zoo, a grizzly bear, three leopards and two monkeys.
The animals escaped from the Muskingum County Animal Farm in Zanesville after the owner threw their cages open and committed suicide, authorities said.
Mike Dodd with the Muskingum County Sheriff's Office told FoxNews.com that authorities are urging the public to "keep your eyes open."
Schools were also closed, parents were warned to keep children and pets indoors and flashing signs along highways told motorists, "Caution exotic animals" and "Stay in vehicle."
Neighbor Danielle White, whose father's property abuts the Muskingum County Animal Farm, said she didn't see loose animals this time but did in 2006, when a lion escaped.
"It's always been a fear of mine knowing (the owner) had all those animals," she said. "I have kids. I've heard a male lion roar all night."
The owner of the preserve, Terry Thompson, left the cages open and the fences unsecured, releasing dozens of animals, including lions, tigers, bears and wolves, before committing suicide, said Muskingum County Sheriff Matt Lutz. His body was discovered in the driveway.
Authorities would not say how he killed himself and no suicide note was found. Lutz wouldn't speculate on why he committed suicide. But Thompson had had repeated run-ins with the law, and Lutz said the sheriff's office had received numerous complaints since 2004 about animals at the property.
Authorities had difficulty entering the property because wild animals could be seen at its entrance, authorities said. The first responding officers used their handguns to help contain the animals.
"This is a bad situation," the sheriff said. "It's been a situation for a long time."
FoxNews.com's Cristina Corbin, the Associated Press and Newscore contributed to this report.
Seriously, who would have thought of someone going apeshit, killing himself after releasing dozens of exotic animals to run rampant. And now, Fox News believes that the last animal, a wild Herpes infected monkey, is no longer of concern? They believe the creature was killed without definitive proof, letting the damned thing run loose and be nothing but a plague carrier. Perhaps this helps to tie into something else Fox News believes in: religious zealotry. Namely, the failed prophecies that May meant that the dates were off, and now October 21 is the day when people will be judged and slain, their souls to suffer for all sins. But with an unaccounted for diseased monkey running around, is someone trying to write their own story?
Another thing I can't help but find humorous. Surely for most people, the false prophecies don't matter. But statistically speaking, people die every day. In some cases, ironic or dramatic deaths are aligned with the prophecies. Could you imagine how badly it must absolutely suck to die on a day when others have claimed it is the end of days, but knowing that everyone else will live? How embarrassing for you! Knowing that it's not the end of the world...just the end of yours.
Poor souls. Then again, why not go out with a little irony? It makes for more entertaining television that way.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Phoenix, Phoenix, Phoenix...
I'm sure plenty of people in the community are ready to jump all over the bashing bandwagon on this on. This news is taken from the Associated Press.
Seattle 'superhero' arrested, accused of assault
By MANUEL VALDES Associated Press The Associated Press
Monday, October 10, 2011 7:34 PM EDT
SEATTLE (AP) — Instead of the bad guys, it was Seattle's most prolific self-styled superhero that ended up in handcuffs.
Police officers arrested the 23-year-old man who calls himself Phoenix Jones early Sunday after he was accused of assaulting several people with pepper spray. He was booked in county jail on four counts of assault, with arraignment set for Thursday, police said Monday.
"Our message has been the same from the beginning, if you see something that warrants calling 911, call 911," said Seattle police spokesman Det. Mark Jamieson. "Just because he's dressed up in costume, it doesn't mean he's in special consideration or above the law. You can't go around pepper spraying people because you think they are fighting."
But Jones, who wears a black mask with yellow stripes and a bulging muscle bodysuit, said he was only trying to stop a street brawl.
In capital letters, Jones wrote on his Facebook page to say he wouldn't "ever assault or hurt another person if they were not causing harm to another human being." He also released a video shot during the alleged assault.
The often shaky video shows Jones and his sidekick, known as Ghost, running toward a group of people. Jones said there was a fight in the group. Police said there's no indication there was a fight.
The footage goes on to show Jones breaking up the group. Then a woman screams at him, hitting him with her high-heel shoes. Jones appears to be holding his pepper spray canister. Moments later a BMW car appears and speeds away on the street, almost hitting an unidentified man. Jones chases after the car to get the license number. A person with Jones is heard calling 911 to report a hit-and-run.
Jones and his followers then approach the rest of the group down the block. A woman screams at them to "stay away." Another woman runs up to Jones and hits him, screaming at him, "You sprayed (expletive) pepper spray in my eye!"
Two men in the group approach Jones, who then appears to pepper spray them.
Jones has been the most public face of a group of vigilante crime stoppers to show up in Seattle in the last couple of years. His exploits have garnered much media attention, and he's had a camera crew trailing him in recent months.
Peter Tangen, a volunteer spokesman for Jones, said Monday that police didn't have any interest in the alleged hit-and-run, but rather have an agenda against the masked crime fighter.
"They're on a mission to stop Phoenix Jones from what he's doing, which is legal," Tangen said.
On the police report, the officer wrote that Jones "has had a history of injecting himself in these incidents. Recently there have been increased reports of citizens being pepper sprayed by (Jones) and his group."
The report goes on to say that although Jones "has been advised to observe and report incidents to 911, he continues to try to resolve things on his own."
On his Facebook page, Jones has nearly 4,400 friends, and says that he's married to a woman with the name PurpleReign.
Police weren't buying his Phoenix Jones handle, however. He was booked under Benjamin John Francis Fodor.
Here is a link to the video of the fight in question. http://www.vimeo.com/30307440
Seattle 'superhero' arrested, accused of assault
By MANUEL VALDES Associated Press The Associated Press
Monday, October 10, 2011 7:34 PM EDT
SEATTLE (AP) — Instead of the bad guys, it was Seattle's most prolific self-styled superhero that ended up in handcuffs.
Police officers arrested the 23-year-old man who calls himself Phoenix Jones early Sunday after he was accused of assaulting several people with pepper spray. He was booked in county jail on four counts of assault, with arraignment set for Thursday, police said Monday.
"Our message has been the same from the beginning, if you see something that warrants calling 911, call 911," said Seattle police spokesman Det. Mark Jamieson. "Just because he's dressed up in costume, it doesn't mean he's in special consideration or above the law. You can't go around pepper spraying people because you think they are fighting."
But Jones, who wears a black mask with yellow stripes and a bulging muscle bodysuit, said he was only trying to stop a street brawl.
In capital letters, Jones wrote on his Facebook page to say he wouldn't "ever assault or hurt another person if they were not causing harm to another human being." He also released a video shot during the alleged assault.
The often shaky video shows Jones and his sidekick, known as Ghost, running toward a group of people. Jones said there was a fight in the group. Police said there's no indication there was a fight.
The footage goes on to show Jones breaking up the group. Then a woman screams at him, hitting him with her high-heel shoes. Jones appears to be holding his pepper spray canister. Moments later a BMW car appears and speeds away on the street, almost hitting an unidentified man. Jones chases after the car to get the license number. A person with Jones is heard calling 911 to report a hit-and-run.
Jones and his followers then approach the rest of the group down the block. A woman screams at them to "stay away." Another woman runs up to Jones and hits him, screaming at him, "You sprayed (expletive) pepper spray in my eye!"
Two men in the group approach Jones, who then appears to pepper spray them.
Jones has been the most public face of a group of vigilante crime stoppers to show up in Seattle in the last couple of years. His exploits have garnered much media attention, and he's had a camera crew trailing him in recent months.
Peter Tangen, a volunteer spokesman for Jones, said Monday that police didn't have any interest in the alleged hit-and-run, but rather have an agenda against the masked crime fighter.
"They're on a mission to stop Phoenix Jones from what he's doing, which is legal," Tangen said.
On the police report, the officer wrote that Jones "has had a history of injecting himself in these incidents. Recently there have been increased reports of citizens being pepper sprayed by (Jones) and his group."
The report goes on to say that although Jones "has been advised to observe and report incidents to 911, he continues to try to resolve things on his own."
On his Facebook page, Jones has nearly 4,400 friends, and says that he's married to a woman with the name PurpleReign.
Police weren't buying his Phoenix Jones handle, however. He was booked under Benjamin John Francis Fodor.
Here is a link to the video of the fight in question. http://www.vimeo.com/30307440
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A time of horrors
Ahh, October. The time when the sun leaves its dominance in this hemisphere, leaves change color, weather cools in preparation for warm costumes and Halloween is in the air. People prepare to celebrate that which invokes fear, adrenaline and thrills from the genre of horror. It is in this that I tell all reading this as I have in the past, may your nightmares remind you how wonderful it feels to be alive.
Of course, when your life is a horror movie, perhaps the punch goes out of it. After all, there are still people who read this who, along with those claiming to be their friends, encourage others to be put into deadly situations, encouraging people to die or kill. Some who visit sporadically, others who visit several times a day. Despite the protestations and views that ignorance is their opiate bliss, Krampus is not ignored. In fact, the words are still true. No matter how you may feel, no matter what may be said, the actions behind the words still continue. People would rather ignore ugly truths rather than face them. And because of this, it's simply a matter of time. Someone is going to die. And thanks to the actions of some who read these words, no one will care.
But if you ask nicely, I'll tell you who to ask first.
Of course, when your life is a horror movie, perhaps the punch goes out of it. After all, there are still people who read this who, along with those claiming to be their friends, encourage others to be put into deadly situations, encouraging people to die or kill. Some who visit sporadically, others who visit several times a day. Despite the protestations and views that ignorance is their opiate bliss, Krampus is not ignored. In fact, the words are still true. No matter how you may feel, no matter what may be said, the actions behind the words still continue. People would rather ignore ugly truths rather than face them. And because of this, it's simply a matter of time. Someone is going to die. And thanks to the actions of some who read these words, no one will care.
But if you ask nicely, I'll tell you who to ask first.
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