Just reflecting on my thoughts when life throws a larger portion of shit my way than usual. I understand all too well the siren song of oblivion, but I also know how false it is. Hence, the words of wisdom above. If life becomes utter shit, yes, you CAN kill yourself in a myriad of ways. But it's a false release. It's not a true escape, just an endless trap for your ghost to haunt, never changing, reliving your pain forever. At that point you don't need a therapist, but a medium to intervene.
This brings us back to the full circle as to why I call it wisdom for the day. Suicide is ALWAYS an option, it's just not a very good one.
And to answer your question the answer is yes, but Rihanna isn't returning my calls.
While I'm here, there's something else I've been considering to say. The last hour long(for free) BlongTalk Radio episode of Creature Feature was more of a positive vibe, so I decided not to bring everyone down. But there's been a truth echoing in my mind as of late.
There are people in this community who would cheer, laugh and celebrate if and when I were to die. Oh sure, some would have somber moments of more respectful last words touting Krampus as a being of controversy, humor, perhaps even a worthy adversary. But that's more for public faces for those who read blogs or listen to sound bytes. There are others who would actually celebrate the absence of this particular life.
"Fuck him! The fear mongering old man. Racist. Sexist. Paranoid. Dangerous. Better he kill himself than take anyone else with him. At least, I hope he didn't take anyone with him, did he? Wait, someone else did die? Really? Well fuck them too, pompous asses, I never liked them anyway. Do you think they're going to bury them together in their masks? Let's get some beer and have a dance party on their graves!"
It'd be funny if it weren't true. Perhaps the humor is in the exaggeration. And let's not forget my earlier post, if anything happened to me, people know where to look if foul play is suspected. And to whom. And when I say if someone ever threatens me or my friends again we'll see whose death wish is stronger, theirs of mine, they assume it's an idle threat, or one that IS to be taken seriously as a homemade explosive, doing all they can to get out of the blast radius.
Perhaps those that rush headlong into very real danger have their own death wishes. They look for the colorful, heroic way to go out in a blaze of glory. And I know this all too well. But then I look at those connected to the man behind the Krampus, and I know how many would mourn me genuinely. Such pain is not what I wish to cause anyone at this time.
And on the flip side of the coin, I know there are those who would despise my still clinging to life. So not only do I decide not to let loose this mortal coil for the sake of those that care, but to the ones that would in their honest hatred dread my existence, I remain here longer in order to piss them off.
Both reasons make me smile. And reminds myself and everyone who can read these words. The only way to be rid of me is to kill me. And even then, there will always be another Krampus. This makes me smile as well.
Krampus,I'm here if you need to talk to someone about whatever is going on. We've always been friends and unlike so many others I've actually taken time to get past the sardonic exterior you sometimes put up to see a good person beneath it. As for those who want you gone I say to hell with them. Those hate mongering pricks have nothing better to do than plant their ass in front of a computer screen and spread their bile like the digital version of the Black Plague.
You know you have alot of people that have your back. As I told someone yesterday, I will never apologize for standing up for a friend against anyone who tries to treat them like a doormat.
It's appreciated, but truth be told, my downswing was last week before the show. I'm actually on the upswing now thanks to those that reach out and have genuine care and concern for me.
Listen. If you listen closely, you can hear people on the blogosphere reading this, spreading rumors, some say "I hope he's all right" or "I hope he gets help". But if you listen really close, you can hear the voice of someone else, the voice that echoes and resounds with the most fervor.
"Do it. Jump. Take the pills. Pull the trigger. I wanna see the show."
And you know what? For the true friends, I acknowledge them. For the ones simply blowing smoke, trying to keep up appearances, I actually respect the honest assholes more than the two-faced posers. Love or hate, there's something to be said for honesty.
Do you need to talk to someone?
ReplyDeleteJust reflecting on my thoughts when life throws a larger portion of shit my way than usual. I understand all too well the siren song of oblivion, but I also know how false it is. Hence, the words of wisdom above. If life becomes utter shit, yes, you CAN kill yourself in a myriad of ways. But it's a false release. It's not a true escape, just an endless trap for your ghost to haunt, never changing, reliving your pain forever. At that point you don't need a therapist, but a medium to intervene.
ReplyDeleteThis brings us back to the full circle as to why I call it wisdom for the day. Suicide is ALWAYS an option, it's just not a very good one.
And to answer your question the answer is yes, but Rihanna isn't returning my calls.
While I'm here, there's something else I've been considering to say. The last hour long(for free) BlongTalk Radio episode of Creature Feature was more of a positive vibe, so I decided not to bring everyone down. But there's been a truth echoing in my mind as of late.
ReplyDeleteThere are people in this community who would cheer, laugh and celebrate if and when I were to die. Oh sure, some would have somber moments of more respectful last words touting Krampus as a being of controversy, humor, perhaps even a worthy adversary. But that's more for public faces for those who read blogs or listen to sound bytes. There are others who would actually celebrate the absence of this particular life.
"Fuck him! The fear mongering old man. Racist. Sexist. Paranoid. Dangerous. Better he kill himself than take anyone else with him. At least, I hope he didn't take anyone with him, did he? Wait, someone else did die? Really? Well fuck them too, pompous asses, I never liked them anyway. Do you think they're going to bury them together in their masks? Let's get some beer and have a dance party on their graves!"
It'd be funny if it weren't true. Perhaps the humor is in the exaggeration. And let's not forget my earlier post, if anything happened to me, people know where to look if foul play is suspected. And to whom. And when I say if someone ever threatens me or my friends again we'll see whose death wish is stronger, theirs of mine, they assume it's an idle threat, or one that IS to be taken seriously as a homemade explosive, doing all they can to get out of the blast radius.
Perhaps those that rush headlong into very real danger have their own death wishes. They look for the colorful, heroic way to go out in a blaze of glory. And I know this all too well. But then I look at those connected to the man behind the Krampus, and I know how many would mourn me genuinely. Such pain is not what I wish to cause anyone at this time.
And on the flip side of the coin, I know there are those who would despise my still clinging to life. So not only do I decide not to let loose this mortal coil for the sake of those that care, but to the ones that would in their honest hatred dread my existence, I remain here longer in order to piss them off.
Both reasons make me smile. And reminds myself and everyone who can read these words. The only way to be rid of me is to kill me. And even then, there will always be another Krampus. This makes me smile as well.
Krampus,I'm here if you need to talk to someone about whatever is going on. We've always been friends and unlike so many others I've actually taken time to get past the sardonic exterior you sometimes put up to see a good person beneath it. As for those who want you gone I say to hell with them. Those hate mongering pricks have nothing better to do than plant their ass in front of a computer screen and spread their bile like the digital version of the Black Plague.
ReplyDeleteYou know you have alot of people that have your back. As I told someone yesterday, I will never apologize for standing up for a friend against anyone who tries to treat them like a doormat.
It's appreciated, but truth be told, my downswing was last week before the show. I'm actually on the upswing now thanks to those that reach out and have genuine care and concern for me.
ReplyDeleteListen. If you listen closely, you can hear people on the blogosphere reading this, spreading rumors, some say "I hope he's all right" or "I hope he gets help". But if you listen really close, you can hear the voice of someone else, the voice that echoes and resounds with the most fervor.
"Do it. Jump. Take the pills. Pull the trigger. I wanna see the show."
And you know what? For the true friends, I acknowledge them. For the ones simply blowing smoke, trying to keep up appearances, I actually respect the honest assholes more than the two-faced posers. Love or hate, there's something to be said for honesty.