Kanye was right, fuck Taylor not so Swift!

Given that the states are celebrating Thanksgiving today and I do enjoy dinners with friends and strangers while making comments that will give pause at the dinner table, I'll keep this brief. But something has come to my attention that reminds me how grateful I am for human nature. Yes, for it is always important to find purpose in one's existence. The role of Krampus is to expose the less than positive natures of others, to bring them to light, and never to reward the foolish, ignorant or overall naughty.

If you have a television, I have little doubt that you've seen the ad for the game Band Hero, allowing groups to live out their rock and roll, or other musical dreams in the confines of your own homes. This particular commercial features young country crossover poplet Taylor Swift. You might remember Taylor, the young girl resembling an anorexic Goldilocks who was interrupted at the MTV VMA's. Oh yes, Kanye in a Hennessey fueled haze leapt onto the stage when the poor girl started to accept her award, took the mic and went into a tirade on how he'd let her finish, but Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time. Now, at the time, I'd have to agree with Kanye's detractors. His ego has gone too far, please shut him up and remove him from the stage! Fortunately Beyonce was gracious enough that during her own acceptance of an award later that evening, she brought Taylor back up to finish her statement. Wonderful.

But now ladies and gentlemen, something has come to light that paints Taylor in a less than becoming light. Remember that Band Hero game I mentioned at the beginning of this post? It would appear that Miss Swift has put her cowboy boot into her mouth in an act that rivals, if not surpasses the ego of Mr. Kanye West. You see, someone must have told Taylor that Band Hero is like karaoke, only without going to a bar to embarrass oneself. Because now, realizing that she is being paid handsomely for her songs in Band Hero, she isn't making a cent from any karaoke performance using her music. And she wants that to stop. So now, little miss Taylor Swift, the 'innocent' girl from country roots believes that if you're in a smoky bar late at night, the DJ puts on her song and you're butchering it or even singing it well, you're breaking the law. At least as she perceives it. She wants a cut. But if she comes into a karaoke bar and her songs are being played or performed, she will threaten legal action against the karaoke DJ, the establishment and possibly the singers as well!

This level of stupidity seems to be born from country crossover acts every decade. Several years ago, Garth Brooks made the statement that given the durability of CD's, barring unusual physical damage, compact discs with his music would last forever. And given that realization, he wanted a larger cut. Not more money immediately for recordings mind you, but he wanted to be compensated for secondary sales revenue. Let me break this down for you. If Garth Brooks had his way, every time you sold your used CD to a friend, had a garage sale or sold it on Ebay, he wants a cut of that sale! Unless Taylor has somehow uncovered some long standing karaoke conspiracy theory, every lounge singer or karaoke performing fan with their own dreams of stardom are about to be legally cornholed. Sure, go ahead and enjoy her music! But if you sing along in any way other than with Band Hero for which she has been compensated, she will SUE your ass!

I'm starting to theorize that Kanye 'I'm a gay fish' West may have been, in his own way, acting like an early warning system. I dare say at the VMA's while his brain was addled with alcohol, Kanye's Ego Sense was tingling! I believe suddenly he was aware of another massive ego in the room that rivaled his own. Like a predatory beast establishing dominance in his territory, the rant we saw at the VMA's was simply the best he could muster while sober. Kanye was trying to warn us! Now in hindsight, perhaps we were all acting too harshly on Kanye. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face. OF COURSE the public acted accordingly! But if my theory is correct, then it shows that perhaps Kanye's ego is good for something: rooting out other explosive egos like pigs searching for karaoke suing truffles.

Taylor Swift: Putting the cunt in Country.
Happy Thanksgiving, you little twang tang!

Torn

I learned how to fall today, didn't think it would kill you
To settle the debt I thought never would be paid
Found out I was wrong today, too weak to continue
One final defense to fall
Still unbroken

Now I am torn, thought it was over this time
And we know there's still a fire inside
And we know, and we know
We're gonna let it burn
Let it burn
Till the image fades away

Knew there was a price to pay
Didn't think it would thrill you
To witness the fallen one, shattered and ashamed
No I'm not the only one yearning to fulfill you
The unwilling to risk it all
Still uncertain

Now I am torn, thought it was over this time
And we know there's still a fire inside
And we know, and we know
We're gonna let it burn
Let it burn
Till the image fades away

YAAaahhhhaaaaaaaa!!

Now I am torn, thought it was over this time
And we know there's still a fire inside
And we know, and we know

That I am torn, thought it was over this time
And we know there's still a fire inside
And we know, and we know
We're gonna let it burn
Let it burn
Till the image fades away

Torn by Disturbed

Ask Krampus

It has come to my attention that some of you have been asking about the condition of Ol' Krampus after Sunday's Meow and Friends show. Truth be told, I shouldn't have called in. Krampus is on Blog Talk Radio to entertain, occasionally inform and educate while engaging in debate. My calling and my responses could have been detrimental to the show's mood had I remained on it or in the chat.

If you wish to know if I still feel doubt whether or not life is worth living, if I still wish to slay someone on the Naughty list then myself, then ask ME. Executrix is a wonderful friend, but I do NOT wish to hear her being bothered and inundated about questions of MY well being. 'Tis the least I could do for her in asking that if you have a question regarding ME, then do not bother her when you can get the word from the Krampus' mouth. And no, she didn't put me up to this, nor has anyone called her to the point of annoyance. I'm simply taking a step to prevent such a thing.

If some of you wish to correspond privately, then contact me at krampusnights@hotmail.com for any questions, suggestions, etc. Just allow me to caution you. If you're not going to like the answers you may receive, then don't write to me in the first place. And to any aspiring supervillain who berates me one post then offers sympathy the next, spare my your falsehoods and pretense, that will only serve to piss me off to the point of irrational action. And that's not good for anyone.

*sigh* Here we go again...

I feel the need to post this both here and in response to the blog in which this idiocy was brought up again.

Quoting the head of the Skulliban in response to PST last time:
"We're done, you and I, but I have every right in the world to keep my blog and ROACH persona. I invented it, it's copyrighted. As are the personal photos you stole from me, by the way, which can be used against you in a court of law if you choose to pursue this ludicrous course of threats any more. I'm going to leave you the fuck alone, as you request."

Hmm. 'Twould seem someone's going back on their word. And since it's been a rarity for me to reach the piratical one as of late, when we DID speak, she has done NOTHING to antagonize you recently. Oh by the way o dutiful gatherer of information, wonderful reporting on a profile that hasn't been touch since a movie premier that you chose to write about that took place TWO MONTHS AGO. Late as a prom night aftermath period as ever I see.

As to your attempt to rile a response out of my friend PST, in regards to your paper gauntlet being dropped and your desire to latch onto the attention of others like an army of leeches, much like a deceased hooker buried in a chastity belt, she no longer gives a fuck! No blog response will be illicited, save for the legal variety in case of continued harassment. However, I DO feel compelled to reveal that the silence of Krampus being heard upon your forums? It was at the request of PST as not to further stir the brine as it were, so long as you left her and our collective friends alone. That's right, up until this point, you've had PST to thank for your respite from me. But since you've broken your claim and showing of even the slightest shred of honor you might be capable of to validate your word...*cheshire grin*

Edit: After speaking briefly with PST on the eve of honoring Veteran's Day, this is the only comment she will make. You spoke the last words to her in that blog. And she will NOT get involved in this any further.

As for myself, kudos for the retraction. And the fanship. But as for being the yang to your yin, my dear boy...why at this time would I wish to waste the good material on YOU!? Oh, you have a little shit on your chin...

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless. Knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
-Samuel Johnson

Chubby Bunny?

I still don't get what marshmallows have to do with a fat-ass rabbit. Wouldn't Chubby Chipmunk be more appropriate? Come now, I can't be the only one who's pondered this.

Balloon Boy pops father's shiny scrotum of hopes

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Are you ready for the Apocalypse?

Greetings and salutations, kiddies. Please pardon the extended absence, but Krampus has been a bit preoccupied as of late. And thank you to those behind the scenes offering words of wisdom and assistance to my time of need. You see children, I have been reminded once again how much I want to kill someone.

No, seriously. I'm talking about the desire to commit assault, torture and murder upon someone.

Of course, the other party started it, and I simply wish to end it. But alas, the kind of fantasies I've been having as of late would be better suited to fiction to be enjoyed by all instead of criminal acts that although would surely be entertaining, would also be illegal and a jail sentence would most certainly be an annoyance for my future plans. So out of respect and what some would say, a twisted and undeserving belief in the justice system, I'll deal with this particular problem in the light of legality.

This of course brings me to my topic today. Simply because I have respect in the way the justice system is supposed to be, doesn't make me blind to times when the society machine breaks down. Natural catastrophes, riots over much publicized court cases, sporting events gone wrong, man-made disasters. Power blackouts, whether caused by solar charged particles overloading our systems or an electromagnetic pulse. Fire. Explosions. Fears of pandemics. Mass hysteria. Rising crime rates fueled by a pathetic economy. The collapse of everything you know, leaving only your own code of ethics, standards of morality and plan on saving your lives and the lives of those you care for.

Would you be ready for it?

Now, I'm not attempting to engage in fear mongering. There's enough of that out there as it is. But every now and then, it is the norm to hear of some coming catastrophe that will shake the pillars of your foundation, and people fear what may happen. The next large event dealing with this is December 21, 2012. The end of the Mayan calendar, coinciding with the Hopi and other beliefs that with the Earth's planetary alignment with the galactic center that, coupled with an 11 year cycle of sunspot activity, may turn the Earth on its axis, reversing the poles, setting off earthquakes, storms, not to mention people freaking the fuck out and believing that since God has either turned his/her back on them or doesn't exist, they're fucked either way so they're going out with a bang. Might as well watch porn on a stolen flat screen or have your way with the neighbor at knife point.

Then of course, there's the pattern of survival, moving on, then the same dick worrying about the next one. And the next. And the next after that. After we survive 2012, the next bit of doomsaying on the docket is the asteroid Apophis, a potentially life ending asteroid making its way near our little orb in 2029, then again in 2036 on Easter weekend. That reminds me, if Jesus was instead killed by an asteroid collision with Earth, would his holy symbol today be a porous rock? Or maybe a comet? Hard to say, considering if you're lucky enough to come back 3 days later, not many other people would be around to witness the tomb opening. Hell, maybe Judaism would have a resurgence in that case, screaming 'I TOLD you that carpenter was full of it!'

But I digress. I've heard enough people claiming that we are in the end times, even stating we're already IN Hell. This of course, I can't help but scoff at. Then again, I can't help but think I see where they're coming from every time I look in the mirror.

Now, I'm not saying that one should start fearing every day and acting like a survivalist, but consider the possibility that even if you don't believe the worst would happen, other people will. And consider the collective relief to some people thinking that there would be no consequences to their actions, so they could do anything they wish, fuck tomorrow, they're all going to die anyway. So why not have a little revenge? Shoot your neighbor in the face for buying that new car you always wanted, rape the wife, throw their little snot nosed brat who's been bullying your kid into a wood chipper legs first! Why not? Nothing else matters! There's no consequences!

Of course, these people would be wrong. There are ALWAYS consequences! Be it from divinity, guilt, karma or someone witnessing your actions with a zoom lens, things always have a way of coming back around. That's what Krampus is all for. Yes, you're free to act a damn fool. And the cosmos is free to enact justice upon you for doing so. It may take a while, but things tend to come around, helped along or not.

One site I love is ZombieTools.net a wonderful place made for the zombie apocalypse enthusiast in all of us. Not only are there wonderful shirts(the Che Guevara is adorable), but they also have survival tips, ideas for weapons and even manufacturing hand made and sharpened blades from long knives and machetes to full sized swords that aren't designed simply for hanging on the wall, but for actual use in combat! Even they mention in the absence of a zombie apocalypse, there will always be the ebb and flow of social upheaval or need for a weapon of personal protection that doesn't involve wasting ammunition.

So please boys and girls, be mindful of one's surroundings. Hope for the best, but at least have a plan for the worst. After all, if all it would take for some to go ballistic and begin a slaughtering spree is the perception that the end of the world is nigh and nothing else would come of it, do something to watch over you and your loved ones. As for my desires...like I've been saying, all in moderation. And although revenge might be amusing, I'm sure if the end of the world were to happen, I'd have better things to do than go out looking for trouble. If it came to ME however...well hell, if the stores are closed or raided, why let good meat go to waste? Say what you will of the family in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Donner party, at least they were survivors. And less hungry than average.

Am I joking? I suppose we'll have to wait until the Apocalypse to find out.

Happy Halloween. Christmas is just around the corner. And so too are Krampus Nights.