Friday, August 13, 2010

WTF was I talking about!?

Oh good fucking grief...

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever imbibed or ingested something while in a party or holiday setting, acting or reacting a certain way that made perfectly good sense at the time, only to finally awaken from the stupor, looking back in embarrassment and shaking your head?

'Twould appear that the man behind the Krampus enjoyed the holiday with unexpected results. A pleasant trip to Hell was enjoyed. And by Hell, I mean the city in Jamaica. Wonderful Jerk Chicken and rum there. And while temptation or availability to substances deemed illicit in the states could be had there, Krampus did not imbibe them. Nay, what happened instead was completely over the counter, with reactions in Krampus' system that were unexpected. I'll not tell you the exact recipe so as not to have naysayers insisting that I encouraged such things, but pain medication for swollen hooves and hangovers coupled with sleep medications apparently effect Krampus in bizarre ways. None the least of which for the side-effects were anxiousness, aggression and dizzyness. And here I thought the woman sticking her tongue in my ear at the pool had instigated an ear infection.

One of the worst reactions was an amplification of any and all things that would be minor annoyances at best, easily shaken off and ignored. However, the combination within my bloodstream pumped by my dark heart had apparently turned my temper into a giant tongue, and every perceived slight into hot sauce with at least 400,000 Scoville Units. Under usual conditions, Krampus could easily shrug off such slights with a joke or curse, then go about his merry day. But for a reason not perceived nor deduced immediately, Krampus didn't pick up right away what could have been causing this sensitivity. Needless to say, the smallest of negative impulses hurled in my direction or contact from those that I've been less than pleasant with in the past were suddenly amplified, not passing away, but lingering. This started to put ol' Krampus into a foul mind-set that was NOT pleasant. In fact, it was rekindling some darker, far more aggressive thoughts and feelings to counteract the perceived threats.

'Twas bad enough someone decided to take advantage of the generosity of Krampus during the holiday, oh no. Every little slight, every unkind word, gesture, action and ache seemed to snowball into each other. My return home was not as pleasant as one would have wished or expected, what with being alerted to the bastard Krampus Fabio who's been silently stalking me online, the reaching out from one whom was considered a rival at one time as a perceived trick or threat, and finally the straw which made me wish to snap someone's appendages was the continued and accelerated stalking of my definitions on Urban Dictionary. For months since my first offering to its linguistic collection, someone, more than one in order to achieve such numbers apparently, has been repeatedly giving my definitions Thumbs Down simply due to my being its author. It's anonymous, although given the most vocal opponent I've had to my inclusions of words, I had a good idea as to who was doing it. Normally, this is a pittance. Gnats trying to do something, anything to attempt to annoy me. Silly, stupid and pointless, I know. But the problem became that with the lingering negativity, the feeling of constant feeling of someone, anyone trying to rouse my temper and the cacophony of stimulation, my mind wandered into darker, dangerous territory.

Thanks to the aid of good friends contacting me directly. I was able to have my cognitive processes reminded of who I am. Thank you for that by the way. As I returned, I had stopped taking part of the concoction that had put me on edge, so I started to slowly come out of the stupor. But for a short time this week, I was so enraged, it seemed like a perfectly good and testicularly driven idea to declare to the RLSH and RLSV communities that until someone takes their actions to the next level and does something boisterous to garner attention, good or bad, then the attention the communities deserve would never be garnered by the rest of the world. So fuck it, perhaps Krampus would be that sacrificial lamb. Krampus IS part goat after all. So it seemed like an interesting idea at the time to resign from Creature Feature, withdraw from the communities publicly, then go on a road trip performing something foolish, dangerous, possibly illegal, then to throw accelerant on my flickering candle, kill myself.

Oh, I feel embarrassed. And on the plus side, I'm feeling much better now.

So what did we learn from this, folks? Even if they're legal and readily available, be mindful of your reactions with more than one medication you may ingest. To those I may have disturbed with my unusually cryptic and paranoid posts, you have my apologies. I hate cryptic messages myself, and normally am much more direct. But honestly, I didn't know how I was going to react until the show aired. Who knows what bridges may have been burned, what hell and havoc I'd have unleashed just because of a heightened aggression due to legal cocktails in my system. I've stopped taking these meds and will be more mindful in the future.

And as for Lord Malignance, ROACH and whoever else wishes to chime in on a negative tone, keep this in mind: despite all the shit, the attention grabbing, the attempt to be truly ridiculous assholes trying to find a weak spot in my think skin, it took me fucking up myself to consider anything spoken or uttered with fingers and thumbs by you to even come close to annoying me. I had to help you all just to give your pathetic attempts to rile me a chance. And now that my blood is no longer mixing suicidally rage charged martinis, back to business as usual. Here I was, just waiting for you to say something to set me off! One word, one gesture, something to trigger a volatile and final reaction out of the loudest thorn in your sides. One that would probably end me once and for all, the chance to have so-called super villains a way to earn a body count in the real world. Ah well. Eat a hair covered dick losers.

And for those that don't believe my tale, it is the truth. I'm attempting to explain my unusual actions as of late and attempt to make amends with those my actions may have harmed, and move on. But if you persist, if you insist on focusing on a negative outburst as the total sum of my opinion of me, then it is unfortunate. Should you persist, then go fuck yourselves, I neither require nor desire your presence in my existence.

Now what do I take for headaches?

11 comments:

  1. Perhaps you should take a longer vacation. You seem manic.

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  2. A longer vacation would be pleasant, but I'll have to settle for a vacation from my vacation.

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  3. Krampus, as eloquent as you are, I've got to say this entry was almost unreadable. How about you break it down what happened on your trip and with the numbers in plain English, without all the flourishes?
    I read all of that and I feel like I read none of it.

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  4. Very well, safe mode version:
    I had a drug interaction during and after my vacation, which affected my mood, health and every negative interaction and insult felt magnified and lingering. It put my head in a dark place where stupid and dangerous things started to seem reasonable, but began to pass as I stopped taking the meds. With that, my returning common sense and friends helping to speak to me, I stopped myself before I did or said something that I'd regret or worse. And I'm feeling much better now as I'm detoxing and aware of the embarrassing train of thought I was in.

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  5. On a related note, it's quite disconcerting to see that my thought processes are negative and easily riled while under the combined influence of some pharmaceuticals, but manic and incoherent while detoxing. I don't recommend the trip, ladies and gentlemen.

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  6. Wow, sorry you went thru all that Krampus. It reminds me of what happened when I had a few Long Island Ice Teas and some rather exotic slabs of cheese from Calcutta. It was only after the strange haze wore off that I truly came to the conclusion that elephants do not wear shiny metal masks, white lab coats, cheap ass sun glasses stolen from the movie set of "Back to The Future", and laugh hideously like a seal being strangled while having a seizure....

    Or was I watching another Lord Malignance video? Hmmm....

    Seriously though it's a good thing friends came to your aid and we'll always be there to help you out. On the whole RLSH/RLSV thing, don't let the RLSV pricks get to you. Unless they're falsely accusing upstanding citizens of being child molesters or inspiring people to slash other peoples tires they're a mild annoyance at best. Keep doing what you do - call out both sides when they do or say something ridiculous but keep your focus.

    And as for that rival tossing you out the olive branch...I read his blog. My advice would be to tell him to screw off and to stick with those that hatemonger along with him if he wants a movie date. I'm sure he can coax one of his buddies away from the bonfire or from coach as they watch "The Hitler Diaries Revealed" long enough to make it to a movie with him.

    Speaking of movies, you REALLY need to get your hands on the new Batman DVD called "Batman: Under the Red." Holy shit that thing was friggin awesome.

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  7. I appreciate that Mister Jingles, but to let you know, I reviewed Batman Under the Red Hood a few weeks ago, so I do know how wonderful a film it is. Do listen to the show and call in again, you're missed! Also, there's nothing initially wrong with extending an olive branch. But when a call comes from out of the blue to my roommate's home after the show, such actions tend to push away rather than promote an embrace in my opinion.

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  8. So just to be clear, Mr. Jingles' advice is, rather than take the chance to make some sort of peace or understanding between our groups, he'd rather just have continued hostilities.

    Does anyone else see the irony that it's the villains that are reaching out and the non-villains that are saying "fuck you" in all of this?

    Anyone?

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  9. Now now, I think we've had enough of tempers flaring for one week. There are some good things to be said for wanting communication between people, and Krampus agrees that knowing more about the people behind the personas has merit, when done properly. Calls to one's home from out of the blue with someone whom people have jousted online can be a bit disconcerting, but I'm all for trying to establish something, it's just some of the words, history and harmed feelings that can be a great hurdle to overcome. That, and my ever expanding problems in real life prevent me from doing so anytime soon.

    I'm starting to learn more of those who are in the community for laughs, entertainment or genuine concern compared to those wishing to reach a level of asshole worthy of animosity. I was surprised to see who, on both sides, extended a voice of concern and genuine well wishes. When Krampus began his vigilance into these communities, one thing resonated with me: the potential both for good as well as harm one can cause. There are people who do not deserve random violence to be besieged upon them, nor undue negativity. And I knew what the man behind the Krampus was capable of, as well as the knowledge of all it would take to unleash it. I've tried to give people both the benefit and apprehension of their impressions. People can be capable of incredible charity, courage, forgiveness, and action to make positive changes within and the world around them. But equally possible are the rage, darkness, apathy and capacity to be true monsters to people for reasons known only to them. I know because I know what I'm capable of, and what it takes to focus more on the positive than negative. Krampus exists to act as a pressure release, to vent the frustrations, and possibly to entertain or educate along the way. Krampus exists as a monster, but ultimately attempting to do good despite the tactics. The man behind the Krampus you know is all too aware of attempting to take a well of negativity and trying to do something positive with it. Last week, there was nothing positive, save for warning people to either attempt to aid me or get out of the way.

    I know I'm capable of both great good or great harm. I judge all I see or encounter based on what I'm capable of. And worse. Sometimes, I'm surprised to see those who are capable of better. Those I respect greatly and would do anything to shield them from such wrath and darkness. I don't like feeling a lack of self-control due to medication, but it's being chalked up to a learning experience.

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  10. Well..you're kinda right Smeagol....ys some villains are reaching out...some non villains have as well.....some non villains showed their true colors....but yeah...despite getting along...phone calls from people you've never met or given your personal information to at 1 in the morning can raise the alert system a touch.

    Krampus and I have discussed it quite a bit and I think I've given him several differant ways to look at it from all possibilities while trying to be fair and objective.

    And I do recall once upon a time..roughly about a year ago....your yourself more or less told me nver trust a villain.

    Not trying to stir the pot...Krampus is a real friend of mine and has been for years...not some guy who writes a blog...or runs a blogtalk radio show...I know him personally, he's met members of my actual family (which if I don't trust you will not happen)

    I'm concerned on may levels but also trying to remain open and optimistic. I don't wish to see a continuance in animosity but I will say this....there are some "villains" I'm seeing responsible and postive growth in and some non villains I'm sorely disappointed with their recent behavior and attitudes.

    but when it comes to my friends and my desire for their safety, health and happiness...thats what matters...and the petty backbiting bullcrap shows your true side despite the labels you put on yourselfs or persona's and masks you wear.

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  11. Smeagol, I'm not coercing anyone into being hostile. What I am saying is that the person attempting to "engage Krampus" on a more personal level has a long history of being incredibly venomous with his hatred. His MySpace page alone is a testament to how deep his hatred runs as well as an email address and pictures on that MySpace page that scream "bigot". This person also has a prior history of getting close to certain RLSH and then turning on them with the viciousness of a rabid starving dog on a slab of beef. So to answer your question, yes I see it. Yes I admit that essentially that is what I'm saying and you want to know why?

    Because that "person" has probably never done a single credible thing to warrant even the tiniest shred of trust. Trust is a bridge of faith that is earned and some people have done a real friggin good job of burning that bridge to cinder. The constant barrage of malice and calling peoples house without their consent reeks with the inklings of an almost stalker-like action. So my PERSONAL opinion is that this "person" is not worth Krampus' time and given his track record it not worth the investment in trust.

    Before Krampus took on the personality of the Christmas demon and I took on the persona of Mr. Jingles, me and Krampus were friends and I consider him like a brother to me. When he's been troubled I've always been there to help him out as much as I could and when I have had my struggles he's done the same for me. We've broken bread together, celebrated victories and lamented defeats together and we communicate on a regular basis. Gimmicks aside, he's a true friend and I'll defend him 24/7 if I think he is in any potential harm. So again, for the sake of his mental and emotional well being I think he should just steer clear of the offer. You are welcome to disagree with me - that is your right. However my stance remains the same - Krampus should just say "No thanks" and go on about being himself.

    I don't buy the whole burying the hatchet. To me it won't end up with a hatchet being buried to symbolize hostilities being ceased. To me the only blade involved would be the knife when Krampus gets backstabbed by someone not worthy of his trust who, like in the past, has taken advantage of kindness and used it to harm others.

    At this point I don't see peace as a viable option. What I would like to see if both groups just leave each other alone. That may sound cold but again this is my opinion.

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