Saturday, August 21, 2010

Now THIS is a catchy little diddy!

Here I was, preparing for tonight's show, and I came across this little gem by an artist named Cee Lo Green. Ladies and gentlemen, this song has its lyrics in the video, and I can virtually guarantee that some of you will be nodding your head to this catchy, doo-wop song all about venting. I now present to you...Fuck You.



I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean i can't get you there.
I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now i know, that i had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?

(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!
I still love you. Oooh!

(chorus)

Friday, August 13, 2010

WTF was I talking about!?

Oh good fucking grief...

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever imbibed or ingested something while in a party or holiday setting, acting or reacting a certain way that made perfectly good sense at the time, only to finally awaken from the stupor, looking back in embarrassment and shaking your head?

'Twould appear that the man behind the Krampus enjoyed the holiday with unexpected results. A pleasant trip to Hell was enjoyed. And by Hell, I mean the city in Jamaica. Wonderful Jerk Chicken and rum there. And while temptation or availability to substances deemed illicit in the states could be had there, Krampus did not imbibe them. Nay, what happened instead was completely over the counter, with reactions in Krampus' system that were unexpected. I'll not tell you the exact recipe so as not to have naysayers insisting that I encouraged such things, but pain medication for swollen hooves and hangovers coupled with sleep medications apparently effect Krampus in bizarre ways. None the least of which for the side-effects were anxiousness, aggression and dizzyness. And here I thought the woman sticking her tongue in my ear at the pool had instigated an ear infection.

One of the worst reactions was an amplification of any and all things that would be minor annoyances at best, easily shaken off and ignored. However, the combination within my bloodstream pumped by my dark heart had apparently turned my temper into a giant tongue, and every perceived slight into hot sauce with at least 400,000 Scoville Units. Under usual conditions, Krampus could easily shrug off such slights with a joke or curse, then go about his merry day. But for a reason not perceived nor deduced immediately, Krampus didn't pick up right away what could have been causing this sensitivity. Needless to say, the smallest of negative impulses hurled in my direction or contact from those that I've been less than pleasant with in the past were suddenly amplified, not passing away, but lingering. This started to put ol' Krampus into a foul mind-set that was NOT pleasant. In fact, it was rekindling some darker, far more aggressive thoughts and feelings to counteract the perceived threats.

'Twas bad enough someone decided to take advantage of the generosity of Krampus during the holiday, oh no. Every little slight, every unkind word, gesture, action and ache seemed to snowball into each other. My return home was not as pleasant as one would have wished or expected, what with being alerted to the bastard Krampus Fabio who's been silently stalking me online, the reaching out from one whom was considered a rival at one time as a perceived trick or threat, and finally the straw which made me wish to snap someone's appendages was the continued and accelerated stalking of my definitions on Urban Dictionary. For months since my first offering to its linguistic collection, someone, more than one in order to achieve such numbers apparently, has been repeatedly giving my definitions Thumbs Down simply due to my being its author. It's anonymous, although given the most vocal opponent I've had to my inclusions of words, I had a good idea as to who was doing it. Normally, this is a pittance. Gnats trying to do something, anything to attempt to annoy me. Silly, stupid and pointless, I know. But the problem became that with the lingering negativity, the feeling of constant feeling of someone, anyone trying to rouse my temper and the cacophony of stimulation, my mind wandered into darker, dangerous territory.

Thanks to the aid of good friends contacting me directly. I was able to have my cognitive processes reminded of who I am. Thank you for that by the way. As I returned, I had stopped taking part of the concoction that had put me on edge, so I started to slowly come out of the stupor. But for a short time this week, I was so enraged, it seemed like a perfectly good and testicularly driven idea to declare to the RLSH and RLSV communities that until someone takes their actions to the next level and does something boisterous to garner attention, good or bad, then the attention the communities deserve would never be garnered by the rest of the world. So fuck it, perhaps Krampus would be that sacrificial lamb. Krampus IS part goat after all. So it seemed like an interesting idea at the time to resign from Creature Feature, withdraw from the communities publicly, then go on a road trip performing something foolish, dangerous, possibly illegal, then to throw accelerant on my flickering candle, kill myself.

Oh, I feel embarrassed. And on the plus side, I'm feeling much better now.

So what did we learn from this, folks? Even if they're legal and readily available, be mindful of your reactions with more than one medication you may ingest. To those I may have disturbed with my unusually cryptic and paranoid posts, you have my apologies. I hate cryptic messages myself, and normally am much more direct. But honestly, I didn't know how I was going to react until the show aired. Who knows what bridges may have been burned, what hell and havoc I'd have unleashed just because of a heightened aggression due to legal cocktails in my system. I've stopped taking these meds and will be more mindful in the future.

And as for Lord Malignance, ROACH and whoever else wishes to chime in on a negative tone, keep this in mind: despite all the shit, the attention grabbing, the attempt to be truly ridiculous assholes trying to find a weak spot in my think skin, it took me fucking up myself to consider anything spoken or uttered with fingers and thumbs by you to even come close to annoying me. I had to help you all just to give your pathetic attempts to rile me a chance. And now that my blood is no longer mixing suicidally rage charged martinis, back to business as usual. Here I was, just waiting for you to say something to set me off! One word, one gesture, something to trigger a volatile and final reaction out of the loudest thorn in your sides. One that would probably end me once and for all, the chance to have so-called super villains a way to earn a body count in the real world. Ah well. Eat a hair covered dick losers.

And for those that don't believe my tale, it is the truth. I'm attempting to explain my unusual actions as of late and attempt to make amends with those my actions may have harmed, and move on. But if you persist, if you insist on focusing on a negative outburst as the total sum of my opinion of me, then it is unfortunate. Should you persist, then go fuck yourselves, I neither require nor desire your presence in my existence.

Now what do I take for headaches?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Something's about to end.

Krampus goes on holiday, and returns to something that has aggravated him. Any relaxation, any peace hoped to be found has been disturbed. So much so that Krampus is considering something that will change how everyone he knows will view him. Is this the final week of Krampus hosting Creature Feature? Tune in to find out.

And if you hold any concerns for yourselves or the well beings of anyone you know that may be on the Naughty list, start filing restraining orders now.

102 522 1070 1035 1014 1070 1028 1073