Ahh comedy, such a fickle medium. Krampus is all for pushing boundaries, attempting to shock and awe as well as having a message one can learn from. Were it not for the fact that someone close to Krampus was and is currently in Japan, along with friends and family having the same predicament, 'twas a thought that perhaps Krampus could make a joke involving Baby Godzilla being epileptic and watching Pokemon being the cause for the tsunami, but I digressed. The earthquake, tsunami and now potential nuclear threat, the devastation, the bodies washing up, even now some conspiracy theorists claiming that the HAARP project of the US Government was responsible for triggering the earthquake, it all overwhelms us. And I can understand the need to try to alleviate the stress with humor. But let's face it ladies and gentlemen, sometimes bad jokes are just that, bad. And with that, let's address a being whose very voice has grated people's eardrums, whose words have incited outrage and potential violence in reaction. Someone who recently felt it was humorous to mock the pain, the potential loss of lives of strangers and loved ones and cares nothing for anyone's thoughts except to cause outrage for outrage's sake simply to further his own pseudo-celebrity.
That's right, I'm talking about Gilbert Gottfried.
'Twould appear that Gilbert, whose less than dulcet tones have been the voice of the Aflac duck since 2000 was fired over some truly tasteless jokes that he tweeted on his account. Aflac has over 5000 employees in Japan, thankfully spared from the worst of the devastation, as well as many clients whose services are rendered there. As such, Aflac has terminated the comedian straining for some drop of controversy, and will soon be announcing detains for open casting calls to be the next Aflac duck. Perhaps this could be an opportunity for Krampus, who knows? But what IS known are ten of the comments Gilbert Gottfried tweeted. For your viewing displeasure and an example of what NOT to say at this time simply because they're not funny, I now repost the top ten worst comments.
1.: I just split up with my girlfriend, but as the Japanese say, "They'll be another one floating by any minute now."
2.: My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons fo water a day.
3.: I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said "is there a school in this area." She said "not now, but just wait."
4.: What do Japenese Jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.
5.: I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said "okay but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot."
6.: What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.
7.: My book Rubber Balls and Liquor was released in Japan. It's making quite a splash.
8.: I fucked a girl in Japan. She screamed "I feel the Earth move and I'm getting wet."
9.: Japan called me. They said "maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking."
10.: Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
Don't be like Gilbert, kids. I can think of at least ten reasons not to be.
